ON THE PURCHASE OF
NEW SHOWER CURTAINS
by Robert Runté


Excerpted from

I'm Not boring You Am I?


(1991)
Note: This was written when I was first hired at the University of Lethbridge

I used my move to Lethbridge as an opportunity to purge some of my shabbier possessions and to upgrade to something a little more in line with my new status as an employed person. I decided, for example, that after ten years of service in the old place it was time to dump my torn, cheap plastic shower curtain for something a little less scruffy. So, I went to Woodwards, gulped a few times at the $40 price tag, but bought a nice classy new shower curtain. The next day I went back to store and bought the shower curtain rings to hold the shower curtain up. I guess it was naive of me to think that for $40 it would come with its own hanging accessories -- and I suppose it's possible some people would already have their own shower rings and therefore not wish to purchase new ones with their new curtain, even though all this stuff is colour coordinated -- but it looks pretty much to me like another example of the evil capitalist exploiters hitting you up for another $4 by making you buy everything a la carte.

I was therefore somewhat annoyed the next morning when I discovered that the dye in my new shower curtain was washing out into the bathtub. I returned to the store and complained.

"Oh," explained the sales clerk, "You can't use that type of shower curtain without a liner. You have to buy a plastic liner to protect it from the water."

I may have become a shade excited at this point. "I paid $40 for a shower curtain and you mean it isn't even waterproof?! What is the point of having a shower curtain that isn't waterproof?! I mean, if you sell people a curtain for their shower, a shower curtain, the chances are very good that they are they're going to want to hang it in their shower! Where it is, very likely, to come into contact with the water!"

"Well, the liner's the waterproof part."

"Then why didn't you tell me that yesterday? What is the point of selling me the part that isn't waterproof without the bit that is?"

"Well, some people already have the liner. Lots of people just buy the liner part and use that as their shower curtain."

The liner, which cost me another $7, is a cheap plastic sheet that looks very much like my old shower curtain, only this one doesn't come with its own shower rings.

*Sigh* I paid over $60 (with GST) to upgrade my shower curtain and I've still ended up with a plastic shower curtain.

And people wonder why I am so reluctant to shop for a new car....

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© 1999 Robert Runté This page last updated: October 30, 1999